Dating Tips

by Maureen Arnold
Well you’ve finally worked up your courage and asked that hot girl out on an official date. As if learning how to approach a woman was not difficult enough - now, as the man, you are expected to also plan the date and bear the brunt of keeping the conversation going and keeping the date fun and interesting. But alas - this IS the lot of men - at least - the strong man, the alpha male that gets the girls and sparks the attraction in single women.

The first rule of thumb when going on date number one is that the first date is NOT AN INTERVIEW! You are not applying for a job, presenting a resume or otherwise trying to impress her. If you are TRYING to IMPRESS her, you will fail, because that kind of behavior denotes lesser status, and women are not attracted to men who are of lesser status. Period.

Only talk about the boring, run of the mill stuff if you have run out of every other option. The idea is to go somewhere fun and interesting so that the conversation (and attraction) will flow naturally, no to a fancy restaurant where you are both pressured to make "fantastic conversation" and instead end up squirming in the uncomfortable silence between two strangers.

Attraction happens between two people when there is energy, spice, humor, mystery, generally fun and saucy conversation. David Deangelo would call this Cocky Funny. So if you want to create attraction instead of boredom, you’re going to have to learn how to make your conversation interesting.

You do this by coming up with an arsenal of unusual, controversial or funny topics - topics like Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake, Reality TV, Paris Hilton or even using your surroundings (although you will have to be spontaneous with this, and don’t start picking on people, keep your comments light and be sure to spark CONVERSATION, not just make observations).

You can use things like history - telling the woman about he history of the part of town you are in, which will demonstrate that you are intelligent and well read without seeming like it is a ploy to impress her. Use things like historical scandals or ghost stories to intrigue her. Or make conjectures about he current state of the country - something like the price of gas is so high not because of the war in Iraq but because the daughter of the oil tycoon T. Boone Pickins has started text messaging all her friends non-stop and the crisis is really due to his Verizon Wireless bill.

Use conversation to create opportunities to be cocky and funny while talking about the misfortunes and neurotic behavior of others. Remember, and act like you are not there to impress her. You are there to have fun - not get her approval. As she is able to sense this attitude, it will intensify her attraction to you as she realizes that SHE has to impress YOU.

And keep in mind - "busting on her" in a playful manner is also great for attraction. So - if SHE starts in on the usual mundane date talk wanting to know about your family, job etc, take the opportunity to turn the tables on her and say something to the effect of, "What is this, a job interview?"

So the bottom line? If you want to keep her interest, then you have to be interesting from the beginning. The old-fashioned act-like-you’re-on-a-job interview rap just doesn’t cut it when it comes to keeping the flame of attraction alive on a first date.

First Date Tips - How Conversation Influences Attraction

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